Apologies and Thanks

I owe my Fairly Fabulous Four an enormous apology. I was wrong to doubt them. I was wrong to worry they were too nice to me. I was wrong. 

Self-doubt – fear – is useful when it stops you doing stupid things like jumping from a rooftop into a swimming pool, driving too fast or touching something to find out if it’s hot. It’s not so great when it holds you back from doing something wonderful. 

Like trying to become a published author. 

All the things I was worrying about; all the things I feared were wrong in my writing; all were based on unfounded fear. The FFF tried to tell me so. Evil-Minded Plot Mistress even poked me with her fork in an attempt to make me listen. Stubbornly, I believed they couldn’t see the deep flaws in my manuscript because they didn’t want to see them or didn’t want to admit to seeing them.  

That’s an insult; they deserve better. 

Yesterday, I received an assessment on the first 80 pages of my manuscript by Australian fantasy author Louise Cusack. I was very excited when The Beholder walked in the door with the big yellow envelope in his hand; then I was a bit daunted by the prospect of actually reading what Louise had to say. I did have tears in my eyes by the time I finished reading her report, but they were tears of joy, I promise you. The news was all good. My mistakes are small ones, easily fixed. My story isn’t dull or lifeless. I’m not crap. 

So, my heart is full of gratitude toward Louise for her time, her detailed report and her encouragement, and to Kim Wilkins for everything she taught me in ‘Year of the Edit 2007’. More importantly, to the Fairly Fabulous Four – husband, best friends and Mum – I am sorry. I’m not joking; I’m really sorry for not trusting you. 

I won’t make that mistake again. 

Louise Cusack: http://www.louisecusack.com/

Explore posts in the same categories: self-doubt, Writing

One Comment on “Apologies and Thanks”

  1. dogb Says:

    Yes you will – but that’s OK, we love you anyway.

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